Saturday, September 20, 2008

My ANTM Picks

Usually I watch America's Next Top Model so I can yell at Tyra Banks, and marvel at the vapid, empty, disgusting contestants.

This cycle (why do they call it that? am I getting my period?) the model hopefuls are much less vapid and vaccuous than usual, and I am actually enjoying this group a lot more than most because I am not getting as angry while watching.

The girls I pick never win. I tend to go for the best combination of personality and looks, which would make sense. My personal tastes don't agree with the judges I guess. Also as was noted in the last episode, there is a difference between being gorgeous and taking gorgeous photos.

Anyway here are my top three and also the one chick I can't stand (because theres always at least one):

1. Analeigh - Figure skater with a cute little head, big hair, doe eyes and big puffy lips. Cuteness piled upon cuteness. She won't win because she looks as young as she is.



2. Marjorie - I like Marjorie because she is compelling to look at, yet she is not "sexy," at least not in a typical way. I'm pretty sure she will not get far at all though. She has a lot going against her. She is very shy and has busted teeth for starters...

Marjorie

3. Sheena - I like Sheena and would like to see her stay on the show not because of how she looks or photographs, but because she seems like an awesome person. She adds a laid back style of positivity to the show that I have never seen before. Models such as Analeigh are nice to look at, Sheena is nice to listen to.



Before I rip on Elina, I'd like to make a comment about Isis. In the past I would have labeled Isis the "novelty" for this cycle and declare that she will never win as such (Isis is a pre-op transgender). However last cycle set the standard for the novelty contestant going all the way when they crowned their first plus-sized model as the winner. I don't give Isis much of a chance, but I won't write her off just yet.

As for Elina, I cant effing stand her. I yell at her more than I yell at Tyra, which is a lot. I've never yelled the phrase "Shut up!!" in 30 minute intervals more often. Elina is a self-righteous, self-centered, narcissistic idiot. Did I mention she is vegan? Did I mention she is a lesbian? Did I mention she is vegan and also a lesbian? Did I mention she is a vegan lesbian who hates her own mother? Yeah she is annoying as hell, and she does not look like Angelina Jolie, as the judges think she does. I hope she gets the boot asap, lest pretentious phony lesbo vegan brats permeate the modeling world.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

2 comments:

Eileen said...

Elina looks like a Real Doll in this picture.

I wonder if you can buy her for the low, low price of $5,000....attachments are extra.

Anonymous said...

hilarious! thank you for that much needed laugh...gosh i haven't watched this show in forever, my cycle is all screwed up.