My ANTM Picks

Usually I watch America's Next Top Model so I can yell at Tyra Banks, and marvel at the vapid, empty, disgusting contestants.

This cycle (why do they call it that? am I getting my period?) the model hopefuls are much less vapid and vaccuous than usual, and I am actually enjoying this group a lot more than most because I am not getting as angry while watching.

The girls I pick never win. I tend to go for the best combination of personality and looks, which would make sense. My personal tastes don't agree with the judges I guess. Also as was noted in the last episode, there is a difference between being gorgeous and taking gorgeous photos.

Anyway here are my top three and also the one chick I can't stand (because theres always at least one):

1. Analeigh - Figure skater with a cute little head, big hair, doe eyes and big puffy lips. Cuteness piled upon cuteness. She won't win because she looks as young as she is.



2. Marjorie - I like Marjorie because she is compelling to look at, yet she is not "sexy," at least not in a typical way. I'm pretty sure she will not get far at all though. She has a lot going against her. She is very shy and has busted teeth for starters...



3. Sheena - I like Sheena and would like to see her stay on the show not because of how she looks or photographs, but because she seems like an awesome person. She adds a laid back style of positivity to the show that I have never seen before. Models such as Analeigh are nice to look at, Sheena is nice to listen to.



Before I rip on Elina, I'd like to make a comment about Isis. In the past I would have labeled Isis the "novelty" for this cycle and declare that she will never win as such (Isis is a pre-op transgender). However last cycle set the standard for the novelty contestant going all the way when they crowned their first plus-sized model as the winner. I don't give Isis much of a chance, but I won't write her off just yet.

As for Elina, I cant effing stand her. I yell at her more than I yell at Tyra, which is a lot. I've never yelled the phrase "Shut up!!" in 30 minute intervals more often. Elina is a self-righteous, self-centered, narcissistic idiot. Did I mention she is vegan? Did I mention she is a lesbian? Did I mention she is vegan and also a lesbian? Did I mention she is a vegan lesbian who hates her own mother? Yeah she is annoying as hell, and she does not look like Angelina Jolie, as the judges think she does. I hope she gets the boot asap, lest pretentious phony lesbo vegan brats permeate the modeling world.

The worst pitch-man ever.

No this isn't another poor attempt at sports writing. I just can't help but express my disdain at Sharp Electronics' choice of the star of their latest ad campain for their LCD Televisions and Sharp Solar Power.

His name is Gerard Fasel. He starts the commercial by smugly telling me "it seems like you need to be a physics professor to be able to pick out an HD tv..." I don't think it really seems that way at all. But then there is an inexplicable cut to an extreme close-up of Fasel where the albino braggart boasts: "Luckily, I am one."

As a matter of fact, Dr. Fassel is a professor of physics and mathematics at Pepperdine University. But he is physically unattractive and comes off as a show-boater right from the onset of the ad.

I guess Sharp is trying to appeal to the elitist in all of us the same way luxury car companies do in their commercials. I could accept that, maybe, if they had chosen a physics professor who looked more like a sexy librarian. After all this seemed to be John McCain's strategy when choosing his running mate for the upcoming presidential election.

I know I said this would wouldn't be a sports post, but I guess it is important to note that these commercials air with incredible unrelenting frequency on the YES Network.