Half Of A Wing

Sainthood

2009-11-06T22:32:00.003-05:00

In preparing to write a review of Tegan and Sara's new album Sainthood, I figured I would take quick listen to their last album The Con, for comparasin.

I do this because when I found out that the follow-up to The Con would be released, I had to tell myself "there is no way it will come close to The Con, and no reason to expect it will."

For a while, I had been planning to write a post on how my favorite albums are, to this day, albums I first heard in my teenage years. I wondered if this had something to do with my impressionability at a young age OR the drop off in quality of music in general since, say, 1994. I think it could be a bit of both. Having said that, I have heard some great albums in the last sixteen years, but I wouldn't place any of them in my top ten. Some are fleeting (Pretty Girls Make Graves "The New Romance" comes to mind) or some I feel have not been in my system long enough to be counted among the best, despite my absolute emotional indulgence in them (The Thermals "The Body, The Blood, The Machine").

If coerced I would probably at this point name Tegan and Sara's 2007 album The Con as being in my top ten, if not top five. While I think Pink Floyd's Animals and Nirvana's In Utero are almost certainly to forever remain in that upper crust of my musical psyche (impressionability) and Fugazi's Repeater and Sleater Kinney's The Hot Rock (they don't make them like they used to) are ingrained as musical quality standards in my world, I must leave open the possibility that better things are yet to come, and here come Tegan and Sara.

Believe it or not, I distinctly remember the night I bought The Con. I remember putting it in my wife's car stereo, and during our errand running of that evening, hearing just enough of the album to remark "Hey, this is pretty good, isn't it?"

So, having seen them live (with Eileen, John, Jesse, Jae, and Liz, and it was awesome), and loved all of their albums to this point, I was very excited when I found these contemporaries of mine had made a new album.

So comes the actual payoff of this post, a review of Sainthood. I can already tell, as I sit here listening to The Con, that I will be comparing that album to this one.

In the first track "Arrow," the vocal melody puts its arms around me in a way that piques my interest and sets my hopes very high for the rest of the album. For the next few tracks I am not disappointed.

I sense a dancy groove right off on the second track, and I have no problem with that. It is cool. The third track "Hell" is the single I heard weeks ago anticipating the new album. It has a key change in the chorus, yet flows quite well overall. So far so good.

The next track "On Directing" is the high point of the album, though only lyrically and emotionally. It seems to be anti-climactic musically. When you expect it to break out, it ends.

The rest of the album is incidental to me, except for "The Cure," with its flowing melody, "Alligator," a Madonna circa 1985 rip-off, and "Someday," a cool rally song who's message I undoubtedly would argue despite its snaking, enticing melody.

Were these young Canadian twin sisters trying to follow up their masterpiece The Con with Sainthood in the way Brain Wilson tried (in vain) to follow up Pet Sounds with Smile? I sure as hell hope not. (The Con is not comparable with Pet Sounds, so don't even go there.)

Please keep trying, Tegan and Sara, to make the best music since The Con, because you were in the ballpark with Sainthood.

It's all rock and roll to me

2009-07-25T13:40:00.004-04:00

With a little research (ok, not much, really) I came up with my top ten list of best rock and roll quotes. Drum roll, please...

10. A girl can't sing rock & roll too well. It's basically too savage. - Connie Francis
(I happen to agree with this; others may refute it, which is why it's at number ten.)

9. I sit and I write automatically. I don’t really try to write. My subconscious mind takes over and writes the songs for me. Songs come very easily for me. When I’m inspired, it takes me 20 minutes to write a song. - Brian Wilson

8. Rock and roll is commitment. Rock and roll is passion and spirit. - Mick Fleetwood

7. It used to be called boogie-woogie, it used to be called blues, used to be called rhythm and blues…It's called rock now. - Chuck Berry

6. We never said it was a utopia. Rock & roll is played on enemy ground. - Mick Jones

5. I always felt rock and roll was very, very wholesome music. - Aretha Franklin.
(that one just makes me giggle.)

4. We’re more popular than Jesus now. I don’t know which will go first—rock and roll or Christianity. - John Lennon

3. Music has to breathe and sweat. You have to play it live. - James Brown.

2. Videos destroyed the vitality of rock and roll. Before that, music said, "Listen to me." Now it says, "Look at me." - Billy Joel.
(who knew he had anything good to say?)

1. I like rock and roll, and I don't like much else. - John Lennon.

Vinyl vs. Cd's

2009-07-23T07:25:00.005-04:00

I was asked by Shawn months and months ago to become a part of this blog and though I've been a "contributor" since about April, this is my first post. So here goes.

As a kid, we had vinyl records. I remember very vividly my father buying me my first record: Debbie Gibson's Electric Youth. I was five or six years old. The record is now proudly affixed to the wall in my bedroom, encased in glass. (Yes, I'm that sentimental about songs like "We Could Be Together" and "Lost In Your Eyes.")

Twenty-something years later, I still collect vinyl, though I think my taste has improved somewhat since 1989. My basement is ridiculously full of records, meticulously arranged in alphabetical order, and in my bedroom next to my beltless drive turntable, I keep all my favorites like Beatles 65, The Minders' Cul-de sacs and Dead Ends, and several Guided By Voices records.

As a teenager, I began buying cd's at Compact Disc World. I limited myself to buying one cd per week, as I had an allowance, and my collection slowly grew. I sort of forgot about records for a few years until my dad let us listen to his band's, Tramp, 45 from 1969, a kind of post-punk teenage angst sort of thing. And I was amazed at the quality of sound, not having heard such a thing in years.

Now the real question is WHY is vinyl so much more amazing than anything else? Well, there IS a simple scientific explanation for this: a cd's analog is digitzed. A digital recording doesn't contain all the sound information a vinyl record does. This causes vinyl to sound much better.

Aside from the scientific reasoning behind this, I think vinyl just reminds us of simpler times. I didn't have bills, car payments, or a mortgage to pay when I first received Electric Youth or listened to Thriller or Hall and Oates' Rich Girl (which was and still is a pretty damn good album.) I played outside until dark, considered skinned knees battle scars, and rode shotgun in my brothers' General Lee.

The Playlist

2009-05-30T09:22:00.003-04:00

Why haven't we been posting lately? Because it's nice outside!

If you're trying to get your recommended 30 minute cardio workout three times a week, use this playlist:

1. Digital Love - Daft Punk. A good warmup at a moderate tempo.
2. Police On My Back - The Clash. Pick up the pace with this punk classic. Imagine the cops are chasing you.
3. Black Panther - Crystal Castles. Now you're moving! The fastest song on Crystal Castles' debut album.
4. I Am A Poseur - X-Ray Spex. Do you feel like a dope in your bicycle shorts? This song will help. "I am a poseur and I don't care, I like to make people stare!"
5. DVNO - Justice. This is your midpoint cool down. A little slower, but still full of energy. Clap your hands a little.
6. Postcards - An Horse. They used it in a Mercedes commercial, because it kicks ass.
7. Konichiwa Bitches - Robyn. A good confidence booster at about the 2/3 mark.
8. Hop A Plane - Tegan and Sara. A quick bouncer to keep you going.
9. One More Time - Daft Punk. Another Daft Punk number. Most of their stuff is the perfect tempo so if you don't like this song, sub in Around The World or Human After All.
10. I'm On A Boat - The Lonely Island feat T-Pain. For me, this is the victory lap theme song. Of course its a joke, but it is the perfect tempo for a cool down jog and the lyrics are uplifting and inspirational.

The list above clocks in at 31.1 minutes. Play it twice if you prefer a one hour workout.

Stack-O-Tracks

2009-04-29T20:33:00.006-04:00

First I'm going to capitalize on the alley-oop from Bryan regarding the Beach Boys (see previous post). Then I'm going to provide some quick reviews on some (mostly) cool music I've heard in the last few weeks.

As Bryan mentioned, I "grew up listening to the Beach Boys." As a matter of fact, my mother claims she was heavily into the group while pregnant with me (if Eileen and I ever have a child, I plan to have a small speaker implanted in her uterus playing "Pet Sounds" on a constant loop for nine months). I did not, however, get into the band's more "serious" stuff until I was in high school. Years before a middle school teacher had told me that "Pet Sounds" required a certain degree of maturity on the listener's part to really be appreciated. At the time I didn't know what that meant, but as soon as I heard the album, I understood his sentiment. On first listen, the album seems very obtuse. But after a few spins, it grew on me and I recognized its greatness.

I'll stay away from asserting why the Beach Boys are clearly better than the Beatles, but I will say that the Beach Boys' entire body of work is greatly under appreciated by the music world at large.

Lastly I must agree with Bryan's point that the Beach Boys' music will make the listener happier, so give it a try!

And now some random record reviews:

Lily Allen - "It's Not Me, it's You" - I thoroughly enjoyed Allen's first album for it's blending of musical styles and upbeat mood. On her second album, the strength lies less in the music and more in the lyrics. This is very interesting from an artist who's debut was lauded for its eclectic mix of ska, hip-hop, pop, and jazz. The lyrics on "It's Not Me, it's You" are somewhat autobiographical but loaded with cultural commentary. Allen sings about fame, sex, religion, drugs etc with a lyrical skill that belies her age. However as I mentioned there is quite a heavy trade-off in terms of the music. Here, it is mostly straight-up pop. This is fine, and in a way it makes the complex lyrics even more interesting against the simpler music, but it took some getting used to at first.

She & Him - "Volume One" - I confess, I took the bait when I heard Zooey Deschanel had made an album. Why not? She is cute a button and the album got universally good reviews. Well, I have listened to the album quite a few times, and I feel it got an almost-free pass from the critics. First, the strong points. Deschanel has quite a decent singing voice and is more than capable as a songwriter. The music by M. Ward is simple yet warm and makes the album a pleasant listen. The problem is the album lulls itself to sleep after the first three tracks. The opening track "Sentimental Heart" is incredible. It is sad and beautiful, but it makes me think about Feist. As a matter of fact it makes me want to listen to Feist. As a matter of fact it made me quickly realize that Feist did this song first with the vastly superior "How My Heart Behaves." It is still a great song though. The second half of the album, unfortunately, is very weak. It contains three cover songs, including "You Really Got a Hold On Me." Did the world need another version of this song? The Beatles "I Should Have Known Better," sung by Deschanel in a low vocal register is a massive miss. It just comes off as boring. Lastly there is another needless cover of "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot." I can't bash a band too much for doing covers, especially considering this an admirable effort from an actor/musician and is essentially a glorified collection of her demo tapes. I wish that they had just made an ep of the first three tracks with some other strong pieces and none of the filler.

She, of She & Him

Beastie Boys - "Paul's Boutique, 20th Anniversary Edition" - "Paul's Boutique" is the "Pet Sounds" of hip-hop. You can apply everything Bryan and I said about "Pet Sounds" to this album (including that it will one day play inside my wife's uterus). Since most people know the album, I want to focus more on this remastered edition, and how it was extremely necessary. Two of my favorite albums are recorded at such low volumes that even when maxing out the volume and e.q. the listening experience is lacking. These albums are Fugazi's "Repeater" and this Beastie Boys album. While a remaster of "Repeater" is nowhere in sight, this new version of "Paul's Boutique" is what I always wished it would sound like. The beats are louder, but not in a "hope I don't blow out my speakers" kind of way. The vocals are crisper, the samples and sound effects clearer, and each track individually now stands apart from the others more than ever. The high point for me is "Looking Down The Barrel Of a Gun," which now truly has the fierce aggression that so many phony "rap-metal" bands have tried and failed to emulate over the years. In an album which, similar to "Pet Sounds," the listener can pick up on new sounds with each listen, this version brings to the surface sounds I never even knew were there. If you haven't heard this album, seek out this new version. If you are a long time fan, it is still worth your while to add it to your collection.

Neon Neon - "Stainless Style" - This one was quite an interesting surprise. About a year ago, I heard two vastly different tracks from this album on the group's myspace page. When I saw the cd cheap I grabbed it. It is a concept album: a biography of John Delorean. The trick is the album sounds like it was made in the 80's. The singer sounds like Eddie Money and the music is chilly synth-pop with antiquated drum machine beats. For someone like myself, who hates fake 80's nostalgia, I'm almost surprised that I like it so much, but it is catchy, smart, and features Fatlip on a track. Definitely worth checking out.

Neon Neon with a sweet Delorean!

The Beach Boys - "Party!/Stack-O-Tracks" - This late 90's reissue of two odd Beach boys albums on one disc is really a treat. They are both the product of the record company's pressure on Brian Wilson in the year leading up the release of "Pet Sounds." The band released ten albums in 1965 and these two are indicative of the struggle to come up with fresh material for Capital Records. The Party album, as most people know, was a hoax. It was recorded in a studio with party banter dubbed in later. It is, however, still completely convincing, fun and overall excellent. "Stack-O-Tracks" is another interesting experiment; a greatest hits of sorts with all the vocals removed. The original copies came with lyric and music sheets so the listener could play and sing the songs him/herself. It was your own Beach Boys karaoke album. Unfortunately, the cd reissue does not include these music sheets, which was a huge disappointment to me. The album is important though, because it will make you realize that the Beach Boys were not just riding their excellent harmonies. Even on songs I thought I was completely familiar with, I could hear and appreciate them in a whole new light with the vocals removed.

This album contains a cover of "I Should Have Known Better"
that is superior to the original version.

Good Vibrations and Excitations

2009-04-25T21:19:00.006-04:00

At the risk of sounding naive and idiotic, let me say i'm just discovering lately that The Beach Boys are brilliant. It all started with me needing new (old) music. I always feel like there is so much classic rock out there and that I'm only familiar with the hits, so I searched some used cd's on Half.com to hear some more album tracks from various bands. I can't quite remember everything I purchased. There was Simon & Garfunkel, Lou Reed, The Pogues, Gordon Lightfoot, Nick Drake, some random others, and The Beach Boys' Pet Sounds.

I always kinda wrote off The Beach Boys as a corny boy band from way back when. However, upon hearing Pet Sounds I got such a different impression of them. Not only is the songwriting on the album amazing, but there are layers upon layers of beautiful instruments and vocal harmonies carefully arranged to Brian Wilson's specific tastes. The lushness makes you want to hear the songs again and again so you can pick out all of the little things that are happening. I found myself listening to Pet Sounds almost obsessively; first thing in the morning when I woke up, at work, driving in the car, while cleaning the house, etc. I suppose this is a small example of why it is considered one of the best rock albums of all time.

Wouldn't It Be Nice from Pet Sounds

I told Shawn about my excitement with their complex arrangments and harmonies and he told me about how he kinda grew up listening to The Beach Boys. Then he gave me their Greatest Hits Vol. 1, Sunflower, and Surf's Up. I then went out and purchased Smiley Smile and Wild Honey. Shawn went out and purchased a couple more, one of them being Beach Boys' Party!. Suddenly we're watching documentaries and discussing controversial subjects like "which band is better, The Beatles or The Beach Boys?" *GASP!*

The Beach Boys - Live on Ready Steady Go! 1964

I will go so far as to say that The Beach Boys are positively affecting the way I see things, exciting me to write songs, and making me a much happier person in general. I was living under a rock and now I'm enlightened. Their voices are an inspiration. I could probably go on and on but I'm sure Shawn will have something to post on the matter when he round round gets around to it.

I am the Last Omega Legend

2009-04-10T16:41:00.002-04:00

Spoiler alert!

Richard Matheson's 1954 novel I am Legend has been given three film adaptations as of 2007. In the past two years I have read the book and seen all three movies. I'd like to apply some grade school compare and contrast tactics to these four pieces of work.

I'll start where I started. I saw I am Legend (film, 2007) when it was in theatres. At the time I thought it was great. I really enjoyed the post-apocalyptic feel and the special effects. As a huge fan of Will Smith, I knew I would enjoy a movie which featured him as the only man on a desolate version of Manhattan.

Many of my friends had already read Matheson's book, and though I hadn't, I had enough confidence in the film after seeing it to recommend it to them. I know now that this was ill-advised.

Richard Matheson

Matheson's book is the tale of Robert Neville, seemingly the last survivor of a viral outbreak that turns people into vampires. The novel does a fantastic job with the themes of desolation and loneliness. Although it is told in the third-person, it really puts the reader in Neville's lonely, desperate world. Neville in the book is a man with some serious flaws, not the least of which is an on and off problem with alcohol. None of the three films seem to portray the main character this way, instead opting for a more stoic leading man.

After reading the book, I checked out The Omega Man (1971), featuring Charlton Heston. Out of all three films this version strays the furthest away from the book. Rather than vampires, a majority of the population has become part of "the family," a cult of albinos who chase Neville around downtown Los Angeles (the book was based in Los Angeles, as were the first two film adaptations). Although it is somewhat unclear what made "the family" the way they are, it can be inferred that they have suffered some kind of radiation poisoning from a nuclear weapon. Their mission is to destroy all technology, especially military technology. I guess this change from book to film was a reflection of the time in which is was the film was made.

One thing I am Legend 2007 and The Omega Man both got totally wrong is the ending. In the novel, Neville is in fact the last man on Earth. The novel ends when he is captured and killed by a militant group of what some vampire enthusiasts would call "half-breeds." These are infected humans keeping the viral side effects at bay with medications. They see Neville, the uninfected (and immune) man as a threat and so they dispose of him. It is a sad and great ending to a great story. The human race is no more, hence I am Legend.

I think the makers of both I am Legend 2007 and The Omega Man thought the book was called I am LegendARY because they both give Neville a heroic, schmaltzy Hollywood ending. In both these films Neville is killed at the end, but not before saving the human race with a vaccine he had devised and passed along to another survivor.

This change to the ending on the part of both films was a massive miss. One of the main points of Matheson's novel is that the human race is over. The whole book has a desolate yet claustrophobic feeling, capped off with the back breaker of Neville actually dying. Making Neville the savior of the human race completely throws this breathtaking concept right out the window.

So, does The Last Man on Earth (1964), featuring Vincent Price as Neville and with a screenplay written by Matheson himself, get any of these major themes correct? I think so.

Although Matheson was not happy with how the film came out, it played out pretty much how I imagined while I was reading the book. First of all, it got the ending right, albeit with some major dramatic points changed around. Also I felt the scenery in the film, being much more suburban than the other two films, matched the book quite well. I expected Vincent Price to play the part like a weirdo, but he handled it very well with very little cheesiness. I would consider this to be hands down the best film adaptation of the book, but I wonder if I would think so if I saw this movie before reading the book.

I am glad my friends encouraged me to read Matheson's book. Thank you John, for giving it to me for my birthday last year. I would recommend all three films to any fan of the book, but only as an exploration of the many different ways a literary work can be adapted to film, and in particular, over a pretty long period of time for a modern work.

The First Cut is the Deepest

2009-03-02T12:13:00.003-05:00

The following post contains photos and accounts which may be disturbing to some readers.

I have been working part-time in an animal pound for over five years. In that time I have seen the aftermaths of some terrible injuries inflicted on both cats and dogs. However, my experience in treating animals only extends as far as removing ticks and administering medications. In my tenure at the pound, any major medical issues have been handled by animal medical care professionals.

On Saturday, my wife received a phone call from my mother. My parents' cat Patch had an abscess on his head and they didn't know what to do. An abscess forms when the skin is wounded and infected by a foreign object. At times, the foreign object is absorbed by abscess. The abscess fills with fluid and swells with great pressure, causing pain and discomfort to the victim. Left untreated, this fluid can poison the bloodstream, leading to death.

I called a more experienced colleague of mine for advice. What I was told was to take the cat to the veterinarian, where the vet would lance and then drain the abscess. Jokingly I asked if I could simply sterilize a razor blade and perform this procedure myself. This idea became less of a joke when it dawned on us that is was the weekend, and even if my parents wanted to go to the vet, it would prove difficult and costly (and hugely inconvenient, as my sister's birthday party was being thrown later that afternoon).

We arrived at my parents house with a syringe and antibiotic ointment. I was shocked when I first saw Patch. I was expecting something like a large pimple or wart on his face, but it looked as if someone had cut a baseball in half and implanted it in the side of his head. The abscess surrounded the area under his ear all the way down to below his jaw and all the way back to the top of his neck.

In my parents' bathroom about fifteen minutes before the party was to begin, we prepped for surgery by cleaning the cat and sterilizing a single edge razor blade with alcohol and heat. My mother, wife and I were in the room, my mother holding the cat and my wife assisting me, about to make the incision. When I was about to start, before the blade had even touched his flesh, the cat let out a wail. This was, no doubt, due to the fact that he was wrapped in a towel (which served to incapacitate him), held upside-down and in great pain to begin with. The cry gave my mom (whose head was already turned away) a shudder, and she voiced her second thoughts. I asked her to leave the room because I knew she wouldn't be able to handle what was about to take place.

Eileen took over holding Patch in place and I was ready (as I ever would be) to make the incision. I was naively expecting the blade to penetrate the skin as a knife would a hot dog, but to my chagrin his leathery skin was about an eighth of an inch thick, which required a tiny sawing motion to get through. Below is a picture of the incision, which I have marked from end to end with blue dots. I apologize for the poor quality as all the photos in this post were taken with my cell phone.

When I finally broke all the way down through the flesh, the pressure of the swelling caused the abscess to drain, very quickly. This was easily the most difficult part of the procedure to handle because despite what I had been told and all the mental preparation I had done, I was not ready for this disgusting deluge. Instead of a creamy white pus (a la pimples) what we got was a muddy, grayish-brown, foul-smelling swill flowing in an urgent, all-of-a-sudden matter.

We moved the cat into the shower and began to massage the fluid out from all points where abscess had swelled. All told, there was probably about a cup and a half of this slurry when all was said and done. When we were satisfied that he was drained, we cleaned him and ourselves up and put patch in a makeshift recovery room (it's the laundry room, pictured below).

Draining the abscess was only step one. If any material from the abscess remains under the skin it can attach itself to the inside of the flesh, causing the abscess to reform. To prevent this, the wound must be irrigated (IE flushed out) with an antibiotic solution. We used a 50/50 solution of Betadine and water.

Later in the evening we began the first irrigation. By this time the initial shock of the first round of surgery had worn off and it felt like business as usual. Using a syringe, I injected about 3cc of the Betadine solution into the incision I had previously made. I massaged the solution around underneath the flesh, then extracted it with the syringe. After repeating this process we returned Patch to the recovery room.

A day went past and yesterday we carried out the irrigation procedure yet another time (we later found out this was unnecessary but will not do any harm).

We brought Patch some sausage and he ate it out of my hand, which is a promising sign. We wish Patchy the best of a speedy recovery but the hard part is definitely over.

24: So good it gives me nightmares.

2009-02-26T20:52:00.006-05:00

About a month ago I wrote a post claiming that 'Pulling Mussels (From The Shell)' is the best song ever written. The skeptical reader might wonder how long I thought about staking this claim. I can assure you I had been thinking about it for years; challenging myself and other people to name a better song based on the case I had presented. So it goes with 24. I didn't pull this out of my hat. I didn't just get bored one afternoon and decide to proclaim 24 the best show ever broadcast. So it is after great deliberation that I present my case that 24 is the best show ever shown on tv (this includes both cable and broadcast programming).

The show is about Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) and his exploits as a government agent specializing in preventing terrorism. He has an on-and-off relationship with The Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU). The gimmick (and the source of the shows title) is that the events of each episode elapse in one hour, in real time. Therefore each season is one twenty four hour day from start to finish.

Don't shoot! I'm on your side Jack!

24 is shot mostly with handheld cameras, which helps to add to the suspense in the same way it would in a horror film. It also updates the spy-movie cliche of having multiple scenes, in frames, on the screen at once. The trademark of the show is the digital clock which appears on screen before and after commercials, and at the end of each episode. The ticking of this clock is more iconic (and way more important) than Law & Order's gavel drop (also known and the "donk-donk").

I have to admit I was late to the party as far as 24 is concerned. During late weeknights with my housemates during season five I really started to get hooked. To be honest, depending on what day of the week it was, it could have been a toss-up between 'Lost' and 24. I ended up being drawn to 24. I'm lucky it was during season five because this is widely regarded (including by me) to be the show's best season to date. I can remember yelling "RUDY! RUDY!" at the screen with my housemates whenever Sean Astin was on the screen, but little did I know that the seed was planted, and I was soon to be the ultimate 24 fanatic.

I named one of our cats Chloe O'Brian. She rules.

In short order I purchased seasons 1-4 on DVD and watched them with great frequency just to get all caught up. I decided to rewatch season five ("RUDY! RUDY!") via the Internet and it was at about this time I realized the 24 universe was invading my life a little too much...

One night, before Eileen and I were married, we were slumbering together in my apartment in my full-sized bed. In the middle of the night I sprang from a deep sleep and grabbed my future wife by the throat with my left hand (I'm right handed). It all happened in an instant, and I realized what was happening before she even woke up. There was no going back. I was a CTU agent.

After season six, something really bad happened: the writer's strike. To many fans, season six was underwhelming, and although I thought it was up to par with some past seasons, I was worried that a long break would be detrimental to the show in general. So far, halfway into season seven, I can happily say that I was wrong.

Season seven opened with Jack being questioned by a senate committee for his questionable tactics while on the job. As it has always been, the show is again on the cutting edge of the cultural zeitgeist. As our real-life president plans to shut down the Guantanamo Bay prison in Cuba and recently stated that "America does not torture," in the 24 universe the once untouchable Bauer is about to face the music for doing what was necessary to keep the country safe. Lucky for us, he is pulled out of the hearing by FBI agent Renee Walker, and the action begins.

It didn't take long for 24 to start affecting my sleep again. Last week I had terrible nightmares for three nights after the show aired. I rarely have dreams of being chased, in my nightmares I am the killer. So far I haven't tried to choke my wife to death, and I might miss anyway since we have a kingsized bed now.

For anyone into tactical special-agent type action with some political intrigue mixed in, this show is for you. If you like suspense by any measure, this show is for you. If you have eyes and ears, this show is for you.

If anyone sucessfully uses the 24 defense for attempted murder on his/her husband/wife, let me know.

Game Informer Top Five

2009-02-13T17:57:00.005-05:00

Each month I receive Game Informer. A one year subscription of this mediocre video game magazine, which is nowhere near as good as Electronic Gaming Monthly, comes with membership to the Gamestop Edge. The Edge card costs twenty dollars, is good for one year, and can be used for a ten percent discount on used games. It can also be used to store trade-in credit. Even though I never trade in my games, the card usually pays for itself via frequent use of the ten percent discount.

As I mentioned, the Game Informer (GI) magazine is pretty lame. Among other things it features a section profiling the top players of particular games, because one should absolutely give two shits about the top jackass playing "Mirror's Edge." It is also rife with pointless lists, for example: Top 10 Video Game Bromances. I guess this is supposed to be funny. Above this list is a clever caption "Lists...Everybody Loves Lists..." Well perhaps not as much as your editors, GI.

The list I love the most is the "Top Fives" list. "Favorites From Industry Pros and GI Readers." Again, I really care so much about this stuff. Thank you GI for letting me in on what some no-name freshman coder and some zero of a reader consider their top five games.

There are no criteria given for these lists. Favorite games of all time? Favorite games right now? Favorite games to play while eating a cheeseburger? Who knows?

I'm so excited about the mystery and potential of these lists that I've decided to submit my own. As you will see, I've put a lot of thought into this list, which you can only read here (the magazine simply prints the titles and the platform they are on). I'm going to take the practical route and put together a list of my top five favorite games of all time. I really hope I get printed so the other readers of GI can see my stupid face and scoff at the games I love. Here we go.

5. Starfox 64 - Nintendo 64. I really loved the first Starfox game on the SNES, but this one was leaps and bounds over the original. Let's first point out that this game came with the rumble pak! Vibrating controllers have been a standard feature with almost all consoles since, and we mostly have Starfox 64 to thank for it. The game itself features pretty good graphics, a barely-there story line, and linear gameplay (it's a 3-D shooter). Where the game excels and becomes infinitely replayable is in the gameplay itself. The controls are perfect, the levels are action packed, and the scenery and objectives change frequently enough to keep the player interested. The thing I love the most about this game is that I can turn it on and beat it in about an hour, that is if I want to. Through the choose your own route level system, the game can be as difficult or easy as the player wants it to be.

If you say so, rabbit.

4. Kirby's Adventure - NES. No 2-D platformer is as much fun. This game was released near the end of the NES' life and for this it is somewhat overlooked. The game couldn't be simpler. You are Kirby, and pink cream puff with the power to fly and swallow your enemies to take on their powers. Though it is known for being childish and colorful, I actually think it could have been even more colorful, even for the NES. There are a lot of pale colors, but this does not take away from the experience.

3. NBA Jam: Tournament Edition - SNES. There were actually a few old SNES sports titles that could have made the list for their ability to facilitate camaraderie between friends. Madden '94 and NHL '95 came to mind, but NBA Jam: TE edges them out for its presentation value. Everybody knows this game, and as I discovered about two weeks ago, playing it is like riding a bike. Finding the hotspots and powerups is like a reflex, so is screaming "Pass it to me! I'm on fire!!"

"BOOMSHACKALACKA!"

2. Resident Evil 4 - Gamecube and 1. Metal Gear: Solid - PS1. These games are actually very similar, though each superior in its own way so I'll take them on at once. MGS was the first game of the 3-D generation which I played all the way through, and it was such a rewarding experience. By today's standards it is a very short game, but I remember countless long nights plodding through the plot heavy story just trying to see what would happen next. The sequels that have come out continue the saga in a satisfying way, but nothing can compare to the original experience.

That guy is fucked.

Seven years later, Resident Evil 4 was unleashed on the world. For fans of the series such as myself, this game was the ultimate gift. Capcom fixed every problem long time players had been suffering through for years. The slide show-like screen changes were replaced with full 3-D scenery, and the infamous "tank" controls were replaced with an over the shoulder third person view, making aiming way more intuitive.

DAAAMMMNNNN!!!

As stated above, MGS and RE4 share many similarities. Both games feature inventory systems which must be carefully utilized. Both boast excellent and engaging story lines with likable characters. Both encourage replay through the game by rewarding the player with weapons and upgrades after each completion. I have played through both of these games a few times each. The main difference of course, is that MGS encourages nonviolent stealth tactics, while RE4 encourages shooting the shit out of everything. In the end, they both rule.

If Game Informer actually has the sense to publish this incredible list, I will post a scan here on Half Of A Wing.

The Wrestler

2009-01-26T00:02:00.001-05:00

I had initially seen only one commercial for this movie and went into it with an open mind and certain level of trust in Darren Aronofsky's work. The Wrestler is a gritty look into the lifestyle of a has-been wrestler from the 80's called Randy "The Ram" Robinson. The movie plays somewhat like a documentary. The audience follows The Ram (Mickey Rourke) through a lot of behind-the-scenes scenarios which open your eyes to what these guys put themselves through, both emotionally and physically, to make an entertaining performance for wrestling fans. It's shown like it is and it can be cringingly brutal at times.

The raw, handheld camerawork does a good job of almost fooling you into thinking you're watching a real biographical documentary even though it's fiction. You learn that The Ram previously had a successful career and is struggling years later with what little he has left in terms of money, health, and relationships. There are some things about Randy that are quite likable and respectable, and then other aspects of him that are very tragic and disgusting. Mickey Rourke does an excellent job in playing such a multidimensional character. I'm not entirely knowledgeable on Rourke's past experiences but I've heard that this story loosely parallels elements of his personal life and career.

Overall it left me feeling enlightened, moved, and a bit depressed. It's not nearly as morose as Aronofsky's Requiem for a Dream, but will probably be just as memorable and talked about. I don't feel you have to be a wrestling fan to appreciate it either. I haven't even seen a single wrestling match in my life...unless you count watching friends battling in the ring on Super Nintendo.

Bring the Spring

2009-01-23T18:47:00.002-05:00

Shawn here. For the last few weeks, especially when it was extremely cold the past few days, I have been obsessively looking forward to the springtime. Constantly daydreaming, longing for those days when a t-shirt is just enough in the daytime and a nice light sweater is perfect for the evening.

Everything I do is in preparation for the upcoming season change. Clean the basement so we can get the grill out. Fix the screen doors. Wash the patio furniture. Pick up some citronella candles. Find a lefty baseball mitt for Eileen. Tune up the mongoose.

It surely is possible that I go through this every year, but I don't remember it ever being this intense. Perhaps that is because last year we didn't even use our grill. Perhaps it is simply that I hate the winter in every way (seasonal affective disorder? no such thing).

I know the spring is a while away, but I'm determined to keep a positive attitude.

Sorry, we usually try to stay away from "dear diary" type posts, but this is really all I can think about lately.

All I Ever Wanted

2009-01-13T20:50:00.005-05:00

Hello, this is Bryan speaking/typing. As Shawn mentioned I am now a part of Half of a Wing and hope to put in my two cents on a somewhat regular basis. For my first entry I wanted to talk about an album I received from both Shawn and his wife Eileen for Christmas. Throughout the past several months they've been mentioning to me how much I would appreciate Depeche Mode, and that Violator is their best album by far. I've heard a good portion of the band's radio hits, but never a complete album until now.

Some related info on my personal music-listening history: My first real favorite band was Nine Inch Nails. Early on in high school I didn't know anybody and I wore a lot of black (I often blame the prior 9 years of catholic grade school), so NIN was absolutely perfect for the "Mr. Self Destruct" kid that I once was. I still love Trent Reznor's music, however the anger behind most of the songs hasn't stuck with me over the years.

As I currently listen to Depeche Mode's seventh album Violator, it becomes evident that most of NIN's material holds some definite sonic similarities. In general they're both dark and synth-heavy. They both have material produced by Flood. They're both cool to listen to while driving at night. However, the main difference between this and NIN is it's more pop/melody and less insanity...which is something that appeals to me more nowadays.

This album makes me feel like I'm being transported to another dimension. It's dark, dancey, beautiful, and retro-catchy. It has a certain dated cheesiness to it which I feel only adds to how good it is. The passionate vocals are loaded with reverb. The synthesized instrumentation ties the whole album together but is different enough from song to song where it never gets boring. I immediately recognized the radio hits like Personal Jesus, Enjoy the Silence, and Policy of Truth. The other album tracks are easily welcomed upon the first listen. Some of the lyrics can be a bit melodramatic and cheesy (Takes me completely / Touches so sweetly / Reaches so deeply / I know that nothing can stop me), but you accept it for how original the overall production is and for how easily the songs will loop around in your head throughout the day.

If you have even the smallest bit of curiosity about Depeche Mode you'll probably appreciate Violator. It has been playing in my car regularly since receiving it for Christmas. The only gift that would have been able to top it is a Texas Instruments A-100 calculator (see previous entry).

Join The Calculator Cult

2008-12-19T16:15:00.003-05:00

Last week I saw maybe the best Saturday Night Live sketch I have ever seen. John Malkovitch was the host, and there were a few Christmas themed skits as is the norm this time of year.

The point of this post is simple, watch the sketch so you get the joke when I say "We're getting a calculator!" I have been quoting this sketch with rediculous frequency lately. John Malkovitch and Fred Armisen are awesome, even (or espcially) when Malkovitch miffs the timing on the last "WHOOOAAAA!"

Merry Christmas. Hope you get a calculator.

Welcome Bryan and his Mix CD

2008-12-14T00:31:00.003-05:00

First and foremost is an exciting announcement. My nearest and dearest friend Bryan will soon be joining Half Of A Wing as a contributor. I look forward to Bryan's views on music, movies, tv, fashion, pop culture, and anything else he wants to express.

I am a huge fan of the personalized mix tape/cd. They are like the perfect greeting card or thank you note or love letter. I have been making and receiving mixes from friends for as long as I can remember. Out of the ones I have received, some have been okay, some really good. Yesterday, Bryan gave me probably the best mix cd I have ever received complete with custom artwork and twenty one tracks of pure ecstasy (all except two I had never heard). I'd like to comment on a few of the highlights here.

Pants - Lemuria - Wow, what an incredible band, and a great song. Today is the first day I checked out this mix cd, but I can comfortably predict a longtime obsession with this band. A three-piece from Buffalo with those great female vocals that I love and great pop sensibility without being bubble-gum. Thumbs up.

Coin Operated Boy - Dresden Dolls - This is one of those bands where I've heard their name a million times but had no idea what they sounded like, and shame on me for that because they are great. Again, female vocals, but with a toungue-in-cheek delivery and lyrics similar to Folk Implosion's "Mechanical Man."

Here I Go - Syd Barrett - I have been a Pink Floyd fan since I was about nine years old. Though I have never touched a hallucinogenic drug I would argue that such is not necessary to appreciate the band's music. However, I only grew up with the Roger Waters/David Gilmour version of the band. I haven't heard a Syd Barrett song until now. Truth be told, I have been missing out.

I'd like to continue, but I am getting tired. I'll wrap it up with David Bowie, who enjoys two tracks on this mix, one of which is an awesome Pixies cover. I like things in threes, and David Bowie and Prince are two out of three in the trifecta of the most incredible musicians of all time who also broke into the mainstream. Who was the third? Shit, I can't remember. It was somebody good. Anyway...

A mix cd is like a gift. We can always ask eachother "hey, have you heard of xxxxxxx?" but the conversation may die at that moment. A mix cd (provided one makes the effort to put it into his/her cd player) ensures a true reccomendation will reach full fruition and I'll be damned if it isn't one of the most amazing forms of word-of-mouth procreation of musical culture that we have ever been part of.

The best song ever written...

2008-11-28T15:48:00.002-05:00

...is Pulling Mussels (From The Shell) by Squeeze.

The song, released in 1980 on the band's third album Argybargy is to me the perfect pop-rock song. At four minutes one might think it clocks in a little lengthy, and perhaps that is why, amazingly, it never broke the top 100 singles charts.

Its starts full on, no slow build up, it just grabs you by the collar and pulls you in with no warning. It features a quality which I love in any song: the perfect balance of intensity and melody. As intense as the verse is, it builds even further on the pre-chorus and lets you down gently on the refrain, only to step on the gas again.

It also contains both a great guitar solo AND a great piano solo. I usually don't dig a piano solo in any song that isn't Madonna, but in Pulling Mussels it fits perfectly, and gives the song a nice jazzy feel right before "two fat ladies" make their appearance.

How are the lyrics? They are great too. It's mainly about random scenes on a beach and I'm pretty sure the narrator is telling us that he had sex with his girl "behind the chalet." I could be totally wrong about this, but theres so much going on in the story lyrically that even though it is totally literal, it could be open to interpretation, especially for me (see: "Party Lights").

Squeeze has had many bigger hits, and a lot of great songs, but Pulling Mussels (From the Shell) is the best song ever written.

The video below is somewhat interesting. The performance is at a considerably slower tempo than the album version.

While the clip above showcases the bands technical aptitude, it is even better displayed in this unembeddable video.

Carrie on My Wayward Son

2008-11-26T19:37:00.005-05:00

It's always a good thing to give credit where credit is due.

Here are some mega high fives to Carrie Brownstein. We all know Carrie as the guitarist/singer in Sleater-Kinney, but I have found her to be as much an influence post-SK as while the band was making terrific albums.

Carrie's blog Monitor Mix is essentially the model for Half Of A Wing. I have tried my best to take the humorous yet informative, welcoming yet not too personal style of her blog as inspiration for mine. Even my ipod song reviews of the past are essentially a direct rip-off of her upcoming (hopefully) record review video vlog.

Thank you, Ms. Brownstein.

I used to be quite enamoured with her (I won't even get into "Locker 24"). While I still find her striking, I can look beyond that and really appreciate both in retrospect and real time the influence she has had on my creative output for so many years.

Also, let us not forget THUNDERANT

Grab Bag!

2008-11-21T19:56:00.004-05:00

Is it laziness and lack of motivation or simply a lack of focus? I haven't posted in a while but I've had ideas floating in my head for some time. I'm going to tackle them all at once.

First order of business is a Guns N Roses update. I heard a song off of Chinese Democracy. I believe it was the title track. All I have to say is it sounds exactly like "The Everlasting Gaze" by The Smashing Pumpkins. Yes, we waited about fourteen years for a tired Pumpkins rip-off. I wasn't expecting much more than that anyway. Thanks Axl.

Revenge!

I wanted to write an entire post about revenge movies and how much I love them, but I don't mind relegating this topic to a few paragraphs. Last Friday I watched the film Hard Candy, featuring a pre-Juno Ellen Page. I wasn't expecting a revenge movie, but let me back up a bit. I consider a revenge movie to be one in which the main plot point or theme is revenge. This is not to be confused with a movie which has a "gotcha" ending like Michael Clayton. Such movies which fall into the revenge genre are Last House on The Left, I Spit on Your Grave, and the king of all revenge flicks, Kill Bill. In the case of Kill Bill there is pretty much no plot except a former assassin is seeking revenge on her former assassin friends for killing all the people in her wedding party and trying to kill her.

I guess it must be a vicarious thrill for me to see someone on the big screen carrying out revenge on those who did him/her wrong, but for whatever reason, I love these kinds of movies and Hard Candy certainly fulfilled this need for vengeance.

The synopsis of the film, courtesy of imdb.com is "A mature 14-year old girl meets a charming 32-year old photographer on the Internet. Suspecting that he is a pedophile, she goes to his home in an attempt to expose him." That and the promise of a masterful performance from Ellen Page was enough to get me to watch, but the movie delivered way more than promised. Yes, this movie could have been called "Ellen Page demo reel" but without spoiling anything, I'm going to give this film a high recommendation for tension which unfolds in unexpected ways, a revenge theme which unveils itself in a slow, satisfying style, and one of the most cringe-inducing "elective surgery" scenes ever committed to film.

Crystal Castles

If you're reading this, you are probably one of the three people who I know check out this blog (and I thank you guys, seriously). You also know how much I like Crystal Castles right now. I took the cd out of my car today, but I've taken it out before. This album is the only album in recent memory since Tegan and Sara's The Con that I just cannot, no matter how hard I try, stop listening to.

Get this album, asap.

They are, on first listen, just another electronic dance group. But after many, many listens I can testify that whether it is on purpose or not, they create soundscapes which bore their way into your brain like a bag of worms and fester there just long enough for the next track to change it up. Even their slow-tempo tracks are fascinating from start to finish. One of the things I love about them is that even though they have a main vocalist in Alice Glass, you cannot understand a word she says and I do not believe you are meant to. The vocals are more an instrument than a message for the song. For me, album of the year.

Football

Looking back at my baseball post, I see that is dated and irrelevant now, so I'll make this quick and disposable. I was telling a coworker today that I would actually be rooting for the Jets to beat the Titans on Sunday so that there would be no question that the Giants are the best team in the NFL. He posed an interesting argument: what if the Titans went 18-0 and met the Giants in the Super Bowl just as the Patriots did last year only for the Giants to beat them? Well, that would be totally awesome.

Love Will Tear Us Apart

On Tuesday I watched the film Control. It is a movie about Joy Division and their tragic lead singer Ian Curtis. I must say as I write these opening lines, I wish I was watching the movie again. I must admit I am not a Joy Division expert, I am a fan, and you may know my stance on thier peers in the style of late 70s early 80s synth goth. I will argue that The Cure and Echo and The Bunnymen while awesome, are really just darkly dressed pop bands, Joy Division truly delivered a bleak, barren sonic expression of life.

The film, thankfully, follows the cue of the band's music. It is both bleak and barren, but also beautiful. While it doesn't romanticise the rocker-suicide side of Ian Curtis, it sheds light on his personal demons. One feels sympathy for the man and his family without it being tugged out.

This film (directed by Anton Corbijn, the guy who made the "Heart-Shaped Box" video and pretty much every Depeche Mode video) is breathtakingly beautiful from start to finish and is a must see for anyone with even a casual appreciation of Joy Division.

Well, I'm going to wrap it up here. Thanks for reading.

November Rain

2008-10-22T18:48:00.004-04:00

Don't ask me why, but I put November Rain by Guns N Roses on a mix cd that has been in my car for about the past three months. Its an mp3 cd, so there are about 150 songs on it. Ah, already I'm apologizing for this song, and that's the point of this post. It is just one of those songs, furthermore one of those bands, that you just can't really decide if you like, or if it is good.

Guns N Roses (GNR) were formed in 1985 and released their major label debut Appetite For Destruction in 1987. I was six years old in 1987, but I was pretty well aware of GNR at that time, even if most of their hateful lyrics went right over my head. I even wore this shirt a lot when I was in grade school.

Can you believe that? With all the guns shooting and knives and yes, a rose. I remember needles too, so either my memory is fuzzy or this is not the exact shirt. Either way, no fourth grader would make it in the door with this shirt on now.

Another funny GNR memory is when I was about that age I saw Axl Rose performing on television wearing an N.W.A. hat. I didn't know what N.W.A. stood for so I asked my dad. He obviously didn't think it appropriate to tell me the truth so he made up a slightly less offensive answer: "No Whites Allowed." Thats one of those things I can look back at now and laugh my ass off about, even though I didn't understand back then.

Of course by the time I got hooked on Nirvana et. al, GNR became the enemy. The Kurt/Axl feud aside, I remember a sound clip in the Nirvana film "Live, Tonight, Sold Out!" in which a music reporter quips that Nirvana are the Guns N Roses whom it is okay to like. I understand the comment, you can get all the aggression and rock and roll filth out of a Nirvana record that you can get out of a GNR record without the misogyny and homophobia in the lyrics. On the other hand, I think its okay to like anything, but thats kind of a different point.

Anyway its 2008 and every day for about a week, when the sports radio stations fade out as I'm about to come off the highway, I put on November Rain. At first it struck me as a really good song, then I thought it was really crappy. Now I can't decide, but I like it. The pros are that its a sweeping rock ballad with excellent guitar work from Slash. The cons are that the lyrics are stupid and Axl's voice just doesn't seem right for it.

So is November Rain a good song? Does it matter? Of course not. I just think GNR is a unique band for some reason.

One last point, the next GNR record, whatever it is called, is going to suck absolutely only for the reason of how long it has been in the works. Just think about it. It would be impossible to live up the anticipation (which has now all but dissipated), even if this album were as good as Appetite For Destruction. Everyone will say that it sucks, even if it is somewhat good. It is totally set up for failure.

Anyway just listen to November Rain and watch the awesome video.

The rhythm (based game) is gonna get you!

2008-10-11T18:59:00.004-04:00

All I'm missing is "Samba De Amigo"
I love rhythm based music games. Maybe its the musician in me embracing the fake musician in me, but hitting buttons (or fake drums, or footpads, or guitar frets, depending on the game and peripheral) in time with my favorite (and not so favorite) songs will always be fun to me.

Rhythm based games like Dance Dance Revolution and Rock Band are the natural step-kids of Karaoke, the "fake it if you can't make it" singing culture that made its way from Japanese bars all the way around the world and back.

This post is basically a thank you note to my friend and real life band mate Jesse. Today he was nice enough to give me, out of the kindness of his heart, two brand new pairs of Donkey Kong Bongos and a copy of Donkey Konga.

Because of a friend's kind gesture, today is a special day for me. You see, until today I could not find a rhythm based game that my wife and I could play together. Up until today we have been somewhat of a music game odd couple: she with her DDR and me with my Guitar Hero. However within a few seconds of the first song we played together on Donkey Konga we were laughing, clapping and bongo-ing our way to music game marital bliss.

Thank you Nintendo, and thank you Jesse.

Classic Plastic

2008-10-06T19:23:00.004-04:00

I've been wanting to write about video games for a while now, but didn't know what exactly to focus on. I still am not really sure where this is going to go, but with a notebook pc on my lap I have no problem rambling on about one of my favorite hobbies as I watch the TAMPA BAY RAYS WIN THE ALDS WTF???? (With my NL pick the Cubs eliminated my full support is now behind the Rays. Tampa Bay all the way.)

Like many people in my generation, I can remember the first time I saw Super Mario Brothers on the NES. At the time it was like nothing I had ever seen (the Atari 2600 and its counterparts were before my time.) I told my dad how awesome it was and within a week we had an NES in our house. I remember going to Sears with him to get it. It was so cool. We played SMB/Duck Hunt for hours upon hours.

"I wish I could shoot that effing dog!!!"

While the NES was quite a family affair for a short while, I particularly enjoyed the Super Nintendo when it was released. Unlike the NES, I felt like the SNES was 'mine' alone. Afterall, my family's interest in gaming had died out and the SNES was my Christmas present from Santa the year it came out.

My love for gaming continued on through each generation, and in 2000 I got both a Sega Dreamcast and an eBay account and so the cycle of buying/selling/collecting had begun. From then until about the time I started hanging out with Eileen I would buy a system and some games for it off of eBay, play it for a few months, and sell it back on eBay later to get something else.

Nowadays I pretty much have a no selling rule. I have found myself revisiting older games that I liked in the past more and more often so I've just decided to hold on to everything.

Until this summer I wasnt really concerned with retro-gaming or collecting. For my birthday however, one of my co-workers gave me a Sega Genesis (Model 1) with a Power Base Converter (an attachment which plays SMS games on Genesis) and a very nice array of complete Genesis and SMS games. It was such a nice assortment of goodies in that box that I was sucked right back into old-school gaming again.

Rather than trying to pile up games like trading cards regardless of my interest in playing them (something I have been guilty of in the past), I have really been actually playing most everything I have been adding to the shelves lately. Here are some of my observations.

1. You can still love a TERRIBLE game because of sentimental value.

Such is the case with Hard Drivin' and its sequel Race Drivin. I can't remember where I ever played this in the arcade (the Rockaway Mall or Wheels in Motion) but I recently got a copy for Genesis and it brought back some great memories. This game is one of many polygonal drving 'simulators' from the early 90s but with one awesome addition: the instant replay of every crash. The music is priceless, and once you realize the gameplay is essentially broken you'll realize it is more fun to slam your brakes at the top of the loop-dee-loop.
Look at this shit.

2. I can't believe what they got away with back then.

Today gamers are blessed with something called the internet. We can read reviews and view screens and even play demos of a game before buying it. In the 80s and early 90s we did not have this luxury.

Recently EB/Gamestop stores have begun liquidating Gameboy and Gamboy Color games, so I stocked up on quite a few, most for less than a buck each. Here's something funny I discovered. One of the screens below is from Baseball, the other is from Bases Loaded. Which is which? It doesn't matter. The gameplay is identical. Now, I could care less because I payed about fifty cents each for them, but what about the sports fan who payed twenty to thirty bucks for them back in the day? I think that would have sucked. You may ask "what do you need with more than one baseball game?" Well some people do like sports games.

Oh now I see, in one game you get the players' first names and in the other you get their last names.

Well this has been fun. More to come on this topic, hopefully very soon.

My ANTM Picks

2008-09-20T21:45:00.003-04:00

Usually I watch America's Next Top Model so I can yell at Tyra Banks, and marvel at the vapid, empty, disgusting contestants.

This cycle (why do they call it that? am I getting my period?) the model hopefuls are much less vapid and vaccuous than usual, and I am actually enjoying this group a lot more than most because I am not getting as angry while watching.

The girls I pick never win. I tend to go for the best combination of personality and looks, which would make sense. My personal tastes don't agree with the judges I guess. Also as was noted in the last episode, there is a difference between being gorgeous and taking gorgeous photos.

Anyway here are my top three and also the one chick I can't stand (because theres always at least one):

1. Analeigh - Figure skater with a cute little head, big hair, doe eyes and big puffy lips. Cuteness piled upon cuteness. She won't win because she looks as young as she is.

2. Marjorie - I like Marjorie because she is compelling to look at, yet she is not "sexy," at least not in a typical way. I'm pretty sure she will not get far at all though. She has a lot going against her. She is very shy and has busted teeth for starters...

3. Sheena - I like Sheena and would like to see her stay on the show not because of how she looks or photographs, but because she seems like an awesome person. She adds a laid back style of positivity to the show that I have never seen before. Models such as Analeigh are nice to look at, Sheena is nice to listen to.

Before I rip on Elina, I'd like to make a comment about Isis. In the past I would have labeled Isis the "novelty" for this cycle and declare that she will never win as such (Isis is a pre-op transgender). However last cycle set the standard for the novelty contestant going all the way when they crowned their first plus-sized model as the winner. I don't give Isis much of a chance, but I won't write her off just yet.

As for Elina, I cant effing stand her. I yell at her more than I yell at Tyra, which is a lot. I've never yelled the phrase "Shut up!!" in 30 minute intervals more often. Elina is a self-righteous, self-centered, narcissistic idiot. Did I mention she is vegan? Did I mention she is a lesbian? Did I mention she is vegan and also a lesbian? Did I mention she is a vegan lesbian who hates her own mother? Yeah she is annoying as hell, and she does not look like Angelina Jolie, as the judges think she does. I hope she gets the boot asap, lest pretentious phony lesbo vegan brats permeate the modeling world.

The worst pitch-man ever.

2008-09-06T22:33:00.004-04:00

No this isn't another poor attempt at sports writing. I just can't help but express my disdain at Sharp Electronics' choice of the star of their latest ad campain for their LCD Televisions and Sharp Solar Power.

His name is Gerard Fasel. He starts the commercial by smugly telling me "it seems like you need to be a physics professor to be able to pick out an HD tv..." I don't think it really seems that way at all. But then there is an inexplicable cut to an extreme close-up of Fasel where the albino braggart boasts: "Luckily, I am one."

As a matter of fact, Dr. Fassel is a professor of physics and mathematics at Pepperdine University. But he is physically unattractive and comes off as a show-boater right from the onset of the ad.

I guess Sharp is trying to appeal to the elitist in all of us the same way luxury car companies do in their commercials. I could accept that, maybe, if they had chosen a physics professor who looked more like a sexy librarian. After all this seemed to be John McCain's strategy when choosing his running mate for the upcoming presidential election.

I know I said this would wouldn't be a sports post, but I guess it is important to note that these commercials air with incredible unrelenting frequency on the YES Network.

Teach Them Young

2008-08-29T21:24:00.005-04:00

What follows are two reasons why we are fucked as a society.

9-year-old boy told he's too good to pitch

Eight year old guitar player told to stop playing

As you can see, these two stories came out within a week of eachother and it quickly seems we have a rash of over-achieving youngsters being held back because they are "too good." Congratulations America, we have been punishing adults for being successful for a long time, now it seems the next logical step is to squash any attempt by a child to rise above the status quo.

This shit makes me absolutely sick.

Baseball

2008-08-29T21:01:00.004-04:00

Ah how exciting it is that playoff baseball is only a month away! How excellent it is that this year's pennant race is one of the most exciting I have seen since recently (in the past five or so years) becoming a fan of baseball. How sad it is that the beloved New York Yankees have a very slim chance of getting into the playoffs.

I don't know enough about baseball to write a really smart analytical article on the sport, so I'll just tell you what I think right now.

First of all, even as a Yankee fan, I feel some people need to learn that the Yankees are not entitled to a playoff spot. Unless they win something like 22 of their last 29 games, they won't have earned it. To be honest, thats fine with me. Over the past few years I have evolved from liking the Yankees in the playoffs, to liking the playoffs in general, to liking the Yankees in general, to liking the American league in general, to liking baseball in general. Easy enough right?

So what happens to such a wishy-washy Yankee fan the first time they don't see the post-season since 1995? I'm jumping on the Tampa Bay Rays bandwagon of course! Oh, and the Cubs too.

First the Rays, Im pretty sure they have been the worst team in the A.L. East since their inception, and they have never won more than 70 games in a season, which is pathetic. This year they have lead the division for pretty much the whole season, and I say Tampa Bay all the way! Maybe if they win a world series they can sell some tickets to Tropicana Stadium, but prbably not.

And how about the National League? Im pulling for the sentimental favorite, the Cubs. Again, a bandwagoneer am I, but why not? They now have the longest standing dry spell in baseball and it just may be their turn on the 100 year anniversary of their last win.

So yeah, its an exciting time, even for a real pedestrian baseball fan, such as myself.

Christina Applegate

2008-08-22T19:51:00.003-04:00

So my friends and my wife know I have a long list of celebrity crushes, both male and female. It is understood however, that it's not just an issue of "she's so hot." As it goes for a lot of people, there has got to be some substance to back up a pretty face and earn my admiration.

All of a sudden a few days ago, It struck me how rediculously gorgeous Christina Applegate is. You may ask "where the hell have you been for the last fifteen years?" but trust me, I've always been aware of her. My dad was a big Married With Children fan, and though I remember not really be allowed to watch it, I do remember seeing it sometimes. I imagine that most of the show consisted of airplane jokes for me around the age I was at when it was on. And sure, Christina as Kelly Bundy was quite hot even back then, but she was never a big deal to me.

So comes the news that Ms. Applegate recently underwent a double mastectomy to defeat breast cancer.

All of a sudden I think Christina Applegate is the greatest thing since sliced bread. I think she looks better now than back in the MWC days, and I only half know why. Am I all of a sudden enamored with her because I just realized how well she has aged, or do I admire her so for her courageous battle with cancer?

I don't know, but she is now on my list, and I wish her many years of good health.

Your art should be free.

2008-08-01T21:08:00.002-04:00

You may or may not be aware that I play guitar and sing in a band called Annoying Customer. You also may or may not be aware that we recently completed an eight song piece of work entitled "Mongoose." (We don't know whether to call it an lp or an ep. It is eight songs and clocks in at about fifteen minutes. It is really a conundrum.)

In any event, we as a band wanted to make a quality product for the handful of people who have heard of us to enjoy. At first we struggled with the choice to self-publish or pay someone for pressing. In the end we went for self-publishing, and I am very glad we did. The final product is something all three of us are extremely proud of and we can say every copy was hand-made.

Though certain parts of recording and publishing were extremely stressful, we made it. One of the last minute decisions we made was how much to charge for a cd copy of "Mongoose." When all was said and done, it cost us ninety dollars to make 100 copies of a cd that, if I may say, looks pretty damn professional. In the end we decided to give our cd away free of charge. But we didn't come to that decision instantly. I'd like to discuss the actual concept of paying money for a piece of art, specificallly in the context of the band I am in and the cd we just made.

There are two schools of thought that come to mind for me when "this business of art" is brought up. The first comes courtesy of Joe Barbiere, the brilliant father of two former bandmates of mine. When faced with the "give it away or charge money" question in regards to a demo we had made, Joe offered these words of wisdom: When you give something away, there is a perception of worthlessness.

The second take comes from one of my favorite tv shows, Six Feet Under, in which one of Claire's art school professors proclaims "All artists should want to give away their work for free!"

Of these two ideas, I am lately leaning towards the latter.

We as a band have almost never made money for playing music in our near-decade together. It has never been our business to be in business. When we were in high school, we were happy to have gigs. Now we all have full-time careers, and are happy to have gigs in this hobby of ours. We are, and have always been, in the frame of mind that we are delighted that anyone would want to spend some of their valuable time listening to us. For that, you can have our cd.

What price can one put on a good album? With huge profit margains on cds and the industry leading to internet/digital publishing, what band can honsestly say they deserve money for you to listen to the work they did? I am leaning towards a rant so I'll wrap in up right here. I'll just say if you make art, consider the fact that you could be (or maybe are being) completely ignored. Someone's interest in your work is priceless. We should be grateful for anyone who shows interest in soemthing we created. Artists should want to give away their work.

Party Lights

2008-07-19T13:05:00.004-04:00

"Party Lights" was the one hit of Georgia born R&B singer Claudine Clark. It was actually the b-side of her single "Disappointed." It is noteworthy that Clark wrote "Party Lights."

It is easily one of the best songs I have ever heard. As I listen to it, I am often brought to the verge of tears. The shear power and agony in the vocals pulls on my heart and causes my eyes to well up almost every time.

It seems to be a simple song. A young girl wants to go to a party across the street and her mother won't let her. I have a different take on the lyrics, which may explain my emotional response a little better.

I was tempted to type the lyrics, but it would be way better for you to actually listen to the song. You can listen as you continue to read below.

I am going to call the narrator Joy (Claudine Clark, in an attempt to repeat the success of "Party Lights," recorded under the name Joy Dawn later in her career).

Joy lives with her mother, they have a good relationship. Joy's mother is stern but fair. One fateful night Joy and her closest friends are in a horrific car accident in which all of her friends are killed and Joy is left in a terminal coma. Her mother spends every waking moment at her bedside, and it is taking a toll on her. Joy is all she has, but she is now brain dead.

In the song, Joy is having a near-death experience. She can see red, blue, and green lights. She can see all of her dead friends doing their favorite dances "across the street," i.e. in heaven.

She wants to die. She wants her mother to pull the plug, but she is unaware of her situation and couldn't communicate it if she wanted to. Her mother of course cannot let go, and has no plans to take Joy off life-support. Joy's friends are in heaven doing the twist and the mash potato and all Joy can do is look at her mother.

The song fades out as Joy cries "I wanna go, I wanna go, I wanna go..." In my mind I can hear the EKG chirping and ultimately sustaining the flatline, as Joy finally dies. Joy's spirit ascends into the party lights and she is reunited with her friends where they dance and party for all of eternity.

It's Me or Victoria Stilwell

2008-07-09T22:41:00.004-04:00

For a short while, the time between 6:00pm and 7:00pm has been a little wierd for me.

I typically get home at 4:00pm, and my wife at 5:00pm. After going through the mail and chatting, we usually sit on the couch for some relaxation and dinner.

I can watch Cops any time, day or night. I feel like I have seen every episode but I don't care. Cops is on some channel somewhere almost 24 hours a day. I also like World's Wildest Police Videos on Tru Tv (formerly known as CourtTV) but it is really, really dumb. Its the kind of show where 30 seconds worth of grainy footage is repeated at different speeds and narrated over and over for about five minutes.

I didn't know it, but I was looking for an alternative to all this afternoon law-enforcement violence, and I found it by accident.

Animal Planet is right below TruTv on the proverbial dial, and a few days ago I accidentally tuned to it while gearing up for some high-speed chases. What I saw was a show called It's Me or The Dog, and I was blown away.

Truth be told, the show is very much like The Dog Wisperer, but the difference is in the hosts. I never liked The Dog Wisperer because I think Cesar Milan is a creep. The hostess of It's Me or The Dog, however, is not. She is Victoria Stilwell, and she is my new hero and crush.

First of all, she has a rediculous amount of style. She tends to only wear red and/or black, which is cool enough, but she also tends to wear either riding pants with a peacoat, or a leotard-like jumpsuit with a six inch thick belt. Then there's her voice. That beautiful high-pitched English accent is so sexy. She has just the right amount of class without seeming bitchy, and just the right amount of sass without seeming goofy.

But to be serious, what I really like are her techniques. Right off I noticed that she doesn't do that neck-pinching bullshit that Cesar Milan does. She emphasizes positive reinforcement and is strongly against any type of abuse.

I know these shows are edited to make trainers like Ms. Stilwell look like miracle workers, so I wanted a good reason to admire the woman and not just have a crush on her. I went to her official website and I was extremely pleased to read about all the work she does for animals, from anti-puppy mill work, to promoting pet insurance.

So my hat is off to you Victoria Stilwell, the sexy english dog trainer.

(Don't worry, my wife likes the show too!)

What good is half of a wing?

2008-07-05T00:45:00.002-04:00

What good is half of a wing? This tired, illogical argument is used by creationists in a foolish attempt to create the impression that evolution is the means to an end. If birds have wings now, they must have "grown" wings over time, but what did they do with their little stubby half-wings in the meantime? Of course this argument misunderstands evolution in its whole. There is no "goal" for evolution. Because we know the state of living organisms now does not mean that billions of years of natural selection have been leading up to today. We are, right this second, within the flux of natural history, and will be forever (as as long as we're around at least).

While Trying to come up with a name for my blog, I cracked open The Counter-Creationism Handbook, By Mark Isaac. I recommend it to anyone who has come head to head with a seasoned christian apologist. I wish I had a pocket copy to carry around in my wallet for spur of the moment debates. The book catalogues every apologist argument from the absurd to the thought provoking, and provides the reader with well thought out (and thoroughly cited) rebuttals. "What use is half a wing?" appears on page 95. It caught my eye.

In any event, I think we all go through life with half of a wing, or half of an eye, or half of some other complexly developed organ. Do you have only half of a heart? Half of a brain? What good is it? Is the absence greater than the presence?

I would say that I would would rather have half than none of any of these things.

In our modern lives it is rather difficult to be 100% anything. I would be comfortable saying I am about half of a good friend, half of a good husband, worker, etc. But those half-wings in my life co-opt each other, making me a complete human being, for better or worse.

Like the universe, modern day western human social lives are a mixture of chaos and clockwork.

I have heard the argument that it is rediculous to think that a fish could move about on land.

I believe the mudskipper would beg to differ.